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robert, we love him

yeah if there is ne one out there that can help catch that thoughtless son of a bitch, please come forward, and i know there are plenty of u already helpin. but yeah i'm one of roberts boys from md, my name is marcus maybe some of u have heard of me, i don't know. but robert was my brother, he was one of the most real people u could ever meet. i can't even explain the pain felt by me and robby, one of his other boys. he's the one that told me. he came to me monday w/tears in his eys sayin he's gone, i said who, our boy, still not noin i said who, he said robert, expressionless. emotionlesss. it wasnt' real. he went out to his car. i thought about talkin to him that week before and broke down. thought about how he went out there to do better. we were alway trouble togeter. always had fun though. knew him since elementery school. saw a pic of him when he was on the football team w/robby when we were kids and remembered his poofy ass hair he always had, a little fro. now i think about how we got cut short, meaning how we used to talk about being like 40 and talkin about all the dumb shit we used to do when we were kids. we can't now! and why? he was helpin out a friend the way he always would. he was always down 4 us. and that's every one that made meaningful impression on him. as long as u were a good person u were his friend. sittin here listing to his mix from vibeflow.com, shits pretty tight. he asked me to critic it i did didnt' even get to hear back from him of what i said. he was talkin about comin back so we could all go out and have our first legal drinks together, and now we cant'. but i'm glad i got to talk to him all the chances i could, hang w/him all i could, and to have been a friend to him. mad respect to the youngin that was w/him when it happend, he told me he was gonna speak a few words for me tonight, sorry man my computer cut of on me so i can't give ur name ne props. but u know who u r. this man was loved by alot. he will always have a place in my heart and many others to. i don't know, but he always wanted me to get a tat, never wanted one, but my first will be a tribute to him, probobly my only one to. we should all represent his life to the fullest, that's the way he would want it. i felt him w/me tonight when i was playin darts, i stomped this one game out and he was there, u know how u get those feelings, the ones when ur body is totally just, can't explain it it just was. we won it for him by the way 10 -3. soo many memories w/ this man its not funny, that's what makes it hard. can't even go down the street w/o a thought of him. walked through the metro to the beer store tonight, the same walk me and him walked to go to buzz. he was and is the man! i won't forget him, i love u robert el gato. mao for me up there. ain't gonna stop it down here. and i love all u helpin out the efforts to catch that PKUNK. keep the faith, peace 2 u all, take care.


Little Robert
I can hear Robert in my mind and in my heart right now. I can hear Robert at various ages saying "Aunt Becky", it always struck me when I heard him say my name, his voice was quiet as a child; he was never as rambunctious as his cousins, then as he matured it became deeper a little at a time, but just the way he said it and expressed it "Aunt Becky" he always struck me as the most respectful young person I knew. No matter what was going on if the others weren’t listening, Robert always was. Robert, Angela and Joey were close in age, therefore, they were always at each others side – playing, laughing, and sometimes getting into mischief. Robert never ever got into trouble or talked back or struck out at anyone else. His father would not allow that. I know being raised by his Dad was difficult at times, but somehow the bond and the love is always stronger when a son is raised by his Dad. Robert was always so respectful and polite, like the time when both he and his Dad came to stay with us for a couple of weeks. We all know how much Steve loves food, how much he can eat, and how many times he told us he doesn’t like to cook and only has cereal to eat…well, they were at my house, and I wanted to be the mother or whatever, but I cooked more than I do normally, because I wanted to spoil them and give them something that they don’t get everyday – unless they go to Nana’s.
I cooked, I cleaned, etc., and Robert would come over and ask me if I needed help, ask me not to worry about doing things for him and his Dad, not to cook, not to wait on them, etc. After I explained to him that it was not work, that I was enjoying myself, he told me " Aunt Becky you’re spoiling us and we’re not used to this". He insisted on picking up his dishes and his Dad’s, taking out the trash, doing whatever he could to earn his keep. He never had to earn his keep with me I missed him when he left and now I know why. He was so sweet and had a special persona about him, no matter how tough he was supposed to be. He needed that little bit of spoiling and I’ll treasure that time forever.
I can now hear his words again, and my heart sinks all the way down to my belly. I wish I could take away all the hurt and pain, but I know I can’t all I can do is feel my heart-break and take solace in the knowledge that he is in a better place, and that where he is there is no pain, no fights, no disappointments. He is in the most beautiful place of all! He is our angel and he no longer has to understand the ways of this world. He is now at peace and will forever be.

memories

Little Robert
That Bright Shining Smile, Beautiful Big Brown Eyes and long thick
eyelashes - that was Little Robert to me.
Some of my fondest memories of Little Robert were taking him to my
high school football games in his little black leather jacket and every
girl that saw him fell head over heals for him. He was my little pride and
joy. Back when Little Robert was 10, (I cared for him for a few months
while you were in the hospital) and I remember him really soaking up all the
motherly attention I was giving to him, if you recall, when he went back
home to stay with you, you told me I had spoiled him. Now more than ever I am so
glad I had the opportunity to spend those precious months with him,
babying him, caring for him and loving him as if he was my own. He missed you
so much though and one night he knocked on my bedroom door and came in with
these big crocodile tears welling up in his eyes and he asked me could he
sleep in the room with me. Of course, I agreed, because I know he was just
missing and worrying about you in the hospital and I scooted over in my bed but
he said, "I'll just sleep on the floor next to your bed" because his daddy
had taught him to be a man and only a little boy would sleep in the same bed
with his aunt. I remember dropping him off and picking him up from school
and we had our little routine when we got home. He would do his homework
while I would make him a snack of his choice, oodles of noodles everyday, and
then I would tell him to go in to the library (at mom & dad's house) to practice
his saxophone for 15 minutes. At the time he was awful and I can just
hear that 'bump-ba-ba' in my head right now. Of course, I told him he was
doing great and that he should save the rest of his lesson for Nana & Papa when
they got home from work.
You told me to make sure I gave him some stuff to do around the house and to
not let him get lazy. So, his job was to get the mail and keep his room clean.
So, then when we would pull up from school, he would make me stop the
car at the end of the driveway and let him out so he could get the mail but
it was so cold outside that shortly after doing that once or twice he started
making me stop and wait for him to get the mail so that I could drive him up
the driveway instead of him having to walk. Him and I would just laugh
because we both knew if you found out we would both be in trouble.
I just loved him to pieces and it broke my heart when it was time for him to
go back home to his dad but you had done such a good job with him up unto
that point and he was really becoming such a beautiful person that I just
prayed on it and I knew he would be okay.

More than a decade has passed and I still love him to pieces and it breaks my
heart to know that it was time for him to go home, this time for good - to
our Lord, our Savior. As I knew he would be, he had become a beautiful
person in life, so again, I will pray on it and know that he will continue
to be okay.

Now we all can say he was our little pride and joy, he was our Little Robert!!!!

Steve - take care, be strong and let me know if you need anything.
Luv, Mona